Sometimes, I Think About Sad Things

Today, that happened when I saw the Roast of Flavor Flav on Comedy Central. Man, has that guy made it or what? I think it's possible that he is the luckiest crackhead in the world. The crackhead who wished on the right jimminy cricket hallucination, and got everything he ever wanted. And in fact, he resembled more of a Pinnochio-in-Pleasure-Island than an actual human being as he flopped about on the giant golden throne someone inexplicably let him sit in. He also got to wear a giant crown and drink from an oversized, heavily bejeweled sippy cup.

 

Who Let This Happen?

I believe someday there will be a wikipedia page on the genre that Flava truly pioneered--Un-reality TV (actually, there is a good chance there already is). Flavor Flav was a star on what I would like to remind everyone was the 3rd season of a reality show about washed-up stars. He got a spin off, Flavor of Love, which had three seasons. The second runner up of two of these seasons got HER own show, which spawned... actually, refer to my reality show spinoff family tree:

This took me a REALLY long time to make

All this reality show incest created was a de-evolved genre of reality TV. This is not a genre where contestants are given any rules or challenges, no puzzles, no psychological games. The work on the production end pretty much consists of finding the dumbest, sluttiest, most arrogant and bribable people (be it for money, drugs, or sex), giving them a lot of alcohol, and putting them in front of a camera. As viewers, we get pleasure from seeing people who are stupider, sluttier, drunker and more arrogant than us, and talking shit on them for being rich and on TV. Reality TV was once exciting--I still remember how nervous I got while watching immunity challenges on the first season of Survivor in 2000. It once had a spectrum of characters that were lovable and detestable, rational and crazy. Now, it's just a satire of itself, a drunken parade of vanity and insanity.

And unabashedly so. Take, for example, MTV's new show, "Tool Academy", which is just beginning its second season. The premise of this show is to take dudes who look and act like complete tools, which usually involves a surplus of testosterone and pride, and make them live together. On television. Why would anyone want to watch something so vile? I mean, if I wanted to watch a bunch of douchebags interacting there are plenty of different colleges I could have chosen to attend. But yet we watch, not because we get pleasure out of watching them, but because we get pleasure out of comparing ourselves to them.  

This is what a room full of tools looks like.

I guess I represent my generation pretty well if I'm one of the people who will bitch and moan about how pathetic we are, while indulging in both the bad TV and the haughty criticism of it myself. So lemme be positive here for a minute! At least we're ALL more literate than Flavor Flav. So I'm going to go read a book.